A:  Alan,   D:  director  P:  RCA producer sitting next to Alan

A:         "I've been doing them for 13 years or something, ya know" "it's like there's no ideas left, what are we gonna do?"

P:         "Well, he's supposed to be really big time..." "I heard he did 'jaws,' let's give him a chance." "and see what he's got"

A:         "alright, well lets see what he's got"

D:         "mr. Johanson gery aschlag here" "it's a real pleasure to meet you..." "I've been a fan for"

A:         "jackson"

D:         "jackson, I'm sorry"

A         "that's alright"

A:         "country, that's alright"

D:         "sorry, I know you all call it country, I can do that" "I'm hip to it" "so I'm gonna throw some things at you" "it'll be fresh it'll be new, but I want you to go with me ok" "see if you can visualize this" "for the first thing" "an empty barn, prairie" "the band plays in the barn"

A:         "oh ahah"

D:         "with bails of hay" "and the twist, the bails of hay aren't square" "they are round"

A:         "round, yeah I get that" "that's sweet" "but to be honest with you" "the barn thing has kind of been" "beat to death" "it has..." "the ole band in the barn shot"

D:         "ok,it's just the opening shot here" "I'm not married to any of those ideas" "it's all in the spirit of artistic..."

A:         "you got to start somewhere"

D:         "ok fine, this is what I am seeing" "desert, imagine a girl in a cotton dress"

A:         "you've got to have an old car" "of course for that"

D:         "an old car, there you go" "you're the master"

A:         (laughing) "well it's been thought, yeah"

D:         "well, listen...let's change it entirely." "Let's go back to the roots" "american classics, american icons" "go with me on this one"

"it's an empty stretch of highway" "death valley, right?" "Bandannas, black leather, harley davidson"

A:         "the country singer on the harley thing"

D:         "babes on the back with...things" (laughing) "fringe, fringe"

A:         "that's fine" "we might as well shoot" "a live performance at the cma and" "put it out as a video" "god almighty, no offense"

D:         "point taken, I take your point " "and I give it right back to you" "backyard party barbeque" "your music,friends, your family"

"you know what I'm saying?" "Make it loose. A little beer bash"

A:         "hank jr. 1979" "all my rowdy friends comin' over"

D:         "he did that already?"

A:         "He's already had that party"

D:         "okay. I must  have missed it"

A:         "yeah" "hey listen" "I know how it is" "they don't get cmt in new york alot"

D:         "okay, speaking of new york" "urban cowboy, alright?" Heroic kind of cowboy" "in his element, but out of his element"  n outsider, but an

insider, so the consumate..." "outsider"

A:         "ricky skaggs 1985"

D:         "who?"

A:         "I'm just a country boy" singing "I'm just A...ricky skaggs" "ricky...skaggs" "he did the same thing" "when country comes to town" "it was

really cool" "but it'd be hard to top that one"

D:         "okay, fine. So that's been done" "sorry" "let's go to the other coast, okay?" "Clear your mind" "let's get a breath of fresh air, ok?"

"The sea! The sun! You're surfing!!!"

A:         "Surfing"

D:         "surf cowboy" "blue crush, girls on surfboards"

A:         "cowboy surfer"

D:         "you can wear the hat"

A:         "well I know but" "I've already done that skiing thing"

D:         "ok"

A:         "you might not know that..." "I did a water-skiing video" "that was pretty big years ago"

D:         "fine. Listen, I'm open" "I've come with ideas. That's what I am."

A:         "I appreciate it"

D:         "alright, clear your mind" "here it is. I'm gonna paint you a picture"" "one word...mongolia"

A         :"mongolia"

D:         "mongolia" "anything? Yurtz, lambs...""sheep as far as you can see..." "nomads"

A:         "that sounds nice but that's not me" "and I don't think my fans" "will know where I'm at"

D:         "ok, fine" "so if we've seen all these things already..." "why don't we just take it right to the future" "go with me on this one"

"ok, it's gonna be a wild ride" "space cowboy"

A:         "space cowboy"

D:         "space, the final frontier" "cowboy, the old frontier" "but not the clint eastwood space cowboy" "I'm talking about a real space cowboy"

"a guy with a rocket on his back"

A:         "I gotcha"

D:         "shooting...sparks" "like a future..." "future..."

A:         "future of country music future"

D:"       move to the future of..." "country music"

A:         I've got a really good futuristic idea" "that just came to me"

D:         "feed me"A:         "y'all can just shoot this thing" "without me in it" "I think that'd be the best thing" "you could do" "so, go with that"

"good luck, guys"

D:         "but..."

A:         "thanks"

D:         "line dancing?"

(Alan gets up an leaves)

(Song begins:  Director trying to make video without Alan.Using look-alikes and cardboard stand-ups.  The crew spots the  realAlan a few times and try to tape him:  while he is fishing, at Sonic, walking with Denise.)

 If money grew on  hackberry trees

 if time wasn't   such a luxury

 if love was lovesick over me

 that'd be alright

 if I could keep the wind in my sails

 keep a hold of the tiger by the tail

 a half a ham sandwich in my lunch pail

 that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

 if everybody everywhere had a lighter load to bear

 and a little bigger piece of the pie

 we'd be livin' us a pretty good life

 and that'd be alright

 go heavy on the good  and light on the bad

 a hair more happy and a shade less sad

 turn all that negative down just a tad

 that'd be alright

 if my dear ol' dog never got old

 if the family farm never got sold

 if another bad joke never got told

 that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

 if everybody everywhere had a lighter load to bear

 and a little bigger piece of the pie

 we'd be livin' us a pretty good life

 and that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

 if everybody everywhere had a lighter load to bear

 and a little bigger piece of  the pie

 we'd be livin' us a pretty good life

 and that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

 if everybody everywhere had a lighter load to bear

 and a little bigger piece of the pie

 we'd be livin' us a pretty good life

 and that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

 if everybody everywhere had a lighter load to bear

 and a little bigger piece of the pie

 we'd be livin' us a pretty good life

 and that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

 if everybody ererywhere had a lighter load to bear

 and a little bigger piece of the pie

 we'd be livin' us a pretty good life

 and that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

 that'd be alright

(scene switches to ficticious CMA awards)